


Nonsense Verses With No Purpose

by oneawkwardsilence (microphoneMessiah)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Yoga, Bromance, Drabble Collection, Fast Food, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Purgatory, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microphoneMessiah/pseuds/oneawkwardsilence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eight different ways that Tyler and Josh make sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nonsense Verses With No Purpose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justanotherpunk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherpunk/gifts).



**1\. hell**

"So," Tyler mumbles watching as a man watered a bouquet of roses. "This is Hell?"

He feels it's necessary to note that the roses are growing out of the man's chest and are covered in sharp, dripping thorns. A shudder works it's way through him of it's own volition; he doesn't want to know why this guy is here.

The man glances up, setting down his water pail down on the assumed welcome desk in front of him. He offers a bright smile, turning his torso at an angle so he can offer his hand to shake without accidentally stabbing Tyler's arm.

"Sort of? More like limbo!" His voice shines more than his teeth, if that's possible, and it's almost comforting. Aside from the gaping chest garden thing, of course. "Your case is evaluated and then you'll be on your way."

"How long will it probably take?"

"Depends on how big the file is and what's the cause of your decease-ment."

Tyler blinks at a petal. "Would you tell me something about yours, maybe?"

The man's smile falters for a moment before sliding back onto his face. He leans in to stage-whisper, "I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours."

Tyler feels an itch at his neck and swallows hard.

"Nevermind."

**2\. release**

He's probably snapped his spine at this point. This is the point in time where he has almost definitely broken himself into two halves and will never be whole again. Ben had better sleep with one eye open tonight.

"And then once you feel centered in your pose, release back." The yoga instructor murmurs over the quiet hum of tribal music.

Josh feels and hears his back crack for what has to be the three millionth time that afternoon as he fails, yet again, to stay perfectly still in this stupid pose.

Ben is going to get fucking haunted.

"Once you've finished that, try and go back into our first pose, but this time extend your knee in front of you."

_What the fuck._  Knees don't work like this. But, then the instructor is doing it and part of him wants to question what planet this instructor is from because normal human bodies are not capable of bending like this.

And yet.

Another part of him wants to make some lame pick up line about his body being out of this world because wow, Yoga pants shouldn't make anyone's ass look that good.

"Breathe and bend more."

Ben is getting a twelve pack of tacos and every victory in Halo from now until the time he's giving his best man speech.

**3\. gifted**

"It's not just an academy, Mr. Joseph." The headmaster says, wheeling him down hall after hall of test labs and training rooms. "It's an idea. The idea that there are more to superheroes than super powers and that anyone with the capacity to try can save the world."

He stands in front of Tyler, with lines of age littered around his eyes and echoing around his smile. He's got battle scars everywhere that isn't covered by his vest and long sleeve shirt. The vest has a patch, with a simple yellow mask on it; a nod to his own past of heroics and saving the day. Tyler only gets to consider it for a second before the headmaster is off again, walking quickly.

"Here at the Umbrella Academy for the Gifted and Brilliant, we don't want to just churn out superhero cookie cutters. We want to break the mold and have heroes worth carrying about." His face grows serious. "You can go anywhere if you want to save the day."

The headmaster stops in front of a grand door, turning around to look at Tyler once more before shoving the doors open.

Before them hundreds of students ran around the massive grand ballroom, each in their matching uniforms but all incredibly different. Girls with hands glowing bright red as they boiled the bowls of soup in their hands. Boys flying feet up into the air to snatch books off the tallest shelf. Everyone moving and carrying on as if their powers were commonplace, everyday aspects of living. This was normal for them.  _They_  were  _normal._

"Come here if you want to save a life."

**4\. tower**

"Where is the princess?" Tyler asks over loud sounds of crunching.

Josh adjusts the plastic tiara on his head before taking another bite of his taco.

"Othfer tower ofer there." He waves dismissively off towards the distance where, as he said, a sparkling ivory tower sat with a long cascade of hair falling from it's window.

"Damn."

"Yeah." He swallows, takes a sip of his Mountain Dew before pointing at his Nintendo64. "Before you go, I don't know if you maybe wanna...Like, you came all this way and stuff?"

"Mario Kart?"

"Only if I get to play as Yoshi."

"Could you be anymore unoriginal?"

"Says the guy who wanted to save a princess from a tower."

Tyler shrugs. "I'll play Peach then, for irony's sake."

**5\. cheat**

"Is that her car?" Josh mumbles, rocking his hips up as much as he could using couch cushions as leverage. He groans when Tyler returns the pressure from above him.

"No, you're hear-ah hearing things, dude." His voice breaks when Josh stops grabbing at the arm of the couch and starts grabbing at his ass. Tyler can feel his hands slide into his back pockets, stealing a grope or two as they try and press closer together.

There's a vague sound of something like shuffling in between pants of breath and their socked feet slipping from underneath them. It's a struggle like this but it makes the whole thing more desperate. The heat is trapped in tangled skinny-jean covered legs and arms starting to drip with perspiration.

Tyler presses his forehead to Josh's, smashes their bangs together as they just breathe for a second.

"What happens if she catches you?"

"Then, I'm not just a thief. I'm a cheat."

Josh pulls away to cup his face, before leaning back in to kiss his nose.

"A thief?"

"I stole your heart, didn't I?" There's laughter in his voice.

"No. Saying that makes you a liar?"

"How?"

Tyler plants a kiss under his jaw.

"I gave it away."

**6\. spicy**

"Welcome to Chipotle, may I take your order?" The employee behind the counter has his shoulders slung low, a frown easily seen on his face.

Josh fails to understand how someone in such close proximity to burritos could possibly look like death warmed over, twice. It makes him almost comfortable.

"Uh, carne asada burrito. Extra guacamole?"

The employee enters in the order slowly, punching in the numbers with too much force on each key.

"Would you like any sides?"

"Chips and salsa."

More pressing. The zero button will probably be broken by the time he's done ordering.

"Anything else?"

Yeah, maybe tell him what's wrong? Even though...he is a total stranger and it is entirely none of his business. But this guy looks so downtrodden. He wants to do something, anything.

"Your order? Hello?"

Josh looks down the line where a considerably more cheerful looking girl is eyeing him from behind the counter. She's holding his tray high and staring at him with laser-bean focus. Also, she's clearly and purposefully not looking at sad cashier guy. He thinks there's probably a story there, but on the other hand: it's probably not his to know.

"Thanks."

"Jennifer."

"Right." He takes his food and sits down. Then, Josh proceeds to spend the rest of his time eating trying not to think about the dude behind the counter. It doesn't work.

By the time he's done. He's mostly got a plan to.

He approaches the counter where Jennifer is and she instantly perks up at his presence.

"Do you need something?" She juts a hand on her hip, flutters her lashes.

Josh reaches into his bag and pulls out a receipt. "I accidentally kept the employee copy of my receipt, could you give this to the cashier?"

And with that, the part of his plan that was actually, you know, planned out is complete and he totally has no follow up other than walking out as quickly as possible. He was bold, but he wasn't that bold.

+#+

_"burritos don't make you smile but i know a diner close by. washington st at 11pm tonight? come on, johnny boy. time to get up."_

**7\. capuccino**

"I've got a migraine." Tyler mumbles to himself.

Josh pokes his head down from his bunk. "And your pain will range from up, down and sideways.  _We know._ " He says, sounding much abused.

"I meant from the coffee we got. Caffeine messes with me." He looks at his phone before looking back at Josh. "Oh, and you're a jerk."

"I know.  _You're a jerk. I know. Jerk. Je-jerk jerk._ " Josh sings, wiggling his head even as he feels all the blood rushing to his ears. His face is reddening exponentially and he knows he must be approaching lobster red.

The sound of Tyler's laugh as he bursts out laughing, eyes crinkling and hands lightly clapping makes it all worthwhile though.

**8\. yank**

They tried to muffle their laughs as the woman on the other line responded. God, the joke was too good they had to say the punchline now. It was comedy gold.

Tyler grabbed the phone.

"Then you'd better go catch it!"

And with that they dissolved into giggles as the line clicked off.

Across from them, at the dining table, Mark shook his head as he read his paper.

"I showed them  _one_  episode of Crank Yankers and it's been three hours of nonstop calling." He groans, setting his paper down to rub absently at his eyes.

" _Three_  hours?" Ben shot off a blue turtle shell on his DS, eyebrows quirked. "You might want to check your phone log."

Mark let his head slam onto the table.

**Author's Note:**

> these were done as writing practice and as a gift. i don't actually remember what my backstory was for why josh was in purgatory. feel free to imagine what his chest full of roses means for yourself! the song josh was singing in 'capuccino' is "you're a jerk" by new boyz. crank yankers was a show on comedy central done with puppets that revolved around making prank phone calls and i have no idea why i remembered it.


End file.
